I pretty well dread to see that kind of inmate well-fed and warm, because there’s no holding them back with their howls and screeches of raw joy. Even while waiting in line for chow (food) in the cold, the excited rumblings of loudmouths begin in anticipation of sitting in the warmth of the chow hall and filling their big mouths with food.

In the Ohio institutions in particular, the obnoxious assertive inmates (black and white "niggahs") steal extra food trays and food items with help from confederate inmates working in the food service departments. Beside the large quantities for immediate consumption in the dining hall, there are also thieves who take an even larger amount of food--sneaking in past the guards at the chow hall doors--to the dormitory living quarters to sell to other prisoners for packs of cigarettes. Usually the main salable food items are hamburgers, fried or baked pieces of chicken, fish, turkey, cheese, and occasionally roast beef or bologna sandwiches.

A sandwich usually sells for one pack of cigarettes. So the inmate with money to buy cigarettes can buy his way into a "higher quality" lifestyle in almost every respect. In old prison movies, the focus was on buying privilege items or services being done by

guards and inmates. Now most all of the transactions are between inmates except for dope buys. Lightweight favors are exchanged between certain guards and ceitain inmates, such as food stuffs for cigarettes or services by either faction. If an inmate gives the right guard some cigarettes (who is assigned to work in the kitchen), he can steal a ‘reasonable" amount of food without interference from that guard. Or if an inmate assigned to food preparation areas feeds the right guards assigned to that area, he is permitted to steal foodstuffs with impunity. This isn’t even considered "corrupt" by the cops or the robbers; just a way of life in the joint, that’s all.

I have been feeding some pigeons here. There are three in particular who were raised from babies last spring up to their "teenage" status now by some other inmates who work in the inmate fireman’s Fire House. By late fall, the novelty wore off and the responsibilities for feeding and cleaning up after the three birds became boring to those inmates. So they put the birds back out to "nature" and have let them fend for themselves. I have been feeding them pretty much since that time, as well as some other inmates who bring bread for them.

All three seemed to become pretty attached to me and would fly up to land on my arm and liked to perch on my shoulder. After they displayed poor toilet habits on my jacket a couple of times, I encourage them to stay on the ground while I feed them. Once in a while, I let them perch on my arm while I talk to them. It seems like my voice makes them very sleepy, because they will kinda squat down and close their eyes. Then they will try to snap out of it by shaking their heads and trying to keep their eyes open.

Sparrows are good little companions for me, although they aren’t as familiar with me as the pigeons are; not as trusting, I should say. But that’s okay, because I don’t want to encourage them into becoming too friendly with human beings because there are a lot of humans in here who would hurt them just to be "cute." The sparrows do come closer to me than anyone else around here, and they seem to get a bit bolder and somewhat perturbed when the pigeons are around me. The young pigeons have made friends with some of the "wild" pigeons around here and about a half dozen of these will come close to me to get fed.

When the three familiar pigeons have absolutely no fear of me, the other birds seem to take heart from this and come very close to me. They won’t fly to perch on my arm, but they will come up very close to my feet. The same of the "wild" little sparrows. I enjoy being around them and for some of Mother Nature’s creatures to recognize me as "non-threatening." It’s a shame I can’t make human beings on the parole board feel that way about me.

At any rate, there are people in authority now and then who treat me with a bit more respect as time goes on. It seems like a slow process, but I’m gradually gaining back the trust and respect I had before the Belmont incident with the authority figures around here. Nothing definite, but in a general sense. I was getting tired of being the "bad guy" who made love to the Commander’s lovely wife, for which I was guilty until proven innocent. I still haven’t made any further efforts regarding my appeal, but that’s because all indicators are that it would simply be an exercise in futility to seek redress for the injustice endured from the Rules Infraction Board finding of guilty to the Rule 30 violation.